Dear Mister Plan for My Life,

Please understand that the point of this note is not to complain or make a fuss at all, i simply am writing to make you aware of some very important information. I have been running awfully low on this substance that is unfortunately very necessary to be successful at all in this world. Of coarse I am talking about money. My good sir, unfortunately it's not as simple to make a living by just walking into this country with 13 dollars in your pocket. Trust me I've tried. I was thinking of maybe trying to pawn off some silver spoons like I saw in this movie once but I'm just not sure if my roommate's spoons are real silver or not. So then i thought maybe i would want to go play some music on the side of the street. But then i realized I'm in Rexburg and i don't know how to play the guitar. What am i to do Mister? A job is simply out of the question. I could always make an appearance at the plasma center but every time i attempt, i think back to the 7th grade when my science teacher wanted to test our blood. She pricked my finger and no blood came... so she tried again and... no blood came. I was already very nervous for the first one but by the third time i simply couldn't take it. I passed out on the floor and for the next year i was the most popular person in school. Not for the reason i would've dreamed when i was a little girl.
I am very simply at a loss. Don't you think it would be very pleasant for me to just run into some luck? Some suggestions could be; an undiscovered oil plant, the lottery, or i could be discovered by some big name dance company. I'm not really sure but i am open to any suggestion you might have involving money.
I hope you don't just think I am completely miserable because I am actually very happy but after declaring my independence and moving out of my house, I discovered that money is the only way to get anywhere anymore. It’s quite sad. If you could help me at all I would appreciate it significantly.
Here’s hoping!