Humbling Times.

These last couple of weeks have been a shift for me. For those who have forgotten, when you’re 19 you expect a lot out of life. You anticipate life happening all your way. You get to collage and expect to find good grades, great friends, an exciting new freedom, and then a perfect job. But how is it that we cannot expect. Throughout high school we were taught what to expect. All the graduation speeches were on how sparkly the world is and how many opportunities there are waiting for us. So we expected those opportunities. What they didn’t tell us to expect was that those opportunities weren’t in plain site. They were hidden. Hidden far behind all the failing and then growing up. Oh and lets just talk a little about the ‘growing up’. I was not warned at all on what that entailed when I signed up for it. Growing up used to sound so fun to me. Like a step by step process of getting happier and happier. I had no idea that every happy moment I got, would have to be earned by a few sad ones. You see what I’ve learned over the last few months is that sometimes life isn’t cut out for you. Sometimes you simply have to fall into a place that doesn’t seem to have any place for you at all. But it is in those times that you learn that life isn’t about you anymore. The reason that life feels so off to you is because you’re living in someone else’s. You’re living for some one else for a time. Although I understand that I still have so much I can learn for myself I’ve recently decided that sometimes it’s not so much about how I am progressing in my life but how those around me are progressing. What exactly can I teach someone or even how can I merely influence their emotions? I’ve only just decided that as much I pretend I can meet the expected criteria the world has for me, that I can’t. Not only can’t but that I won’t. I’ve never been one who lives by expectations. That is what I’ve learned this week. That I do not have to live by any expectations. Live each day by the knowledge you already have and then be open to any changes. The Lord has my plan ready for me so what’s the point in trying to write my own? Honestly? It just makes things so stressful. From now on each day is new and inspired. There are no predictions unless they are absolutely positive. I hope you don’t think this is an irresponsible way to think. But right now it’s my way of thinking. The lesson is to be humble.

It's been real Idaho...

This Summer/ Fall i have decided to claim my independence and move out of Idaho. So peace out Idaho. The true is I actually just stepped into the next state down.... Utah! So just a quick over lay of my emotions and feeling at this dramatic change in my life. I arrived here last week thinking "Yay! It's gonna be so much fun. Look at how many more friends i have to choose from. So many more places to eat. More places to hang out" but then after driving in the traffic for a couple hours it slowly became a little more dreary. About the whole "Utah Driver" thing. I always just thought it was a stereotype. Kind of like the "Madison Poof" or the "Arrogant Californians" but nope. Truth is a lot of stereotypes are dang close to the truth. Driving in Utah is like taking the drivers ed test all over again. Everyone is staring at each other, skimming the driving manual in their heads thinking, "soooo... is that legal? Or..." It's getting bad.
Another thing that was definitely different for me was not knowing anyone. Everyone is in their own world and on such different pages. I know that sounds normal to you and your probably thinking she should have expected that and your probably right but living in rexburg is unlike any other place. Every person you meet has so much in common with you. you could walk up to a perfect stranger and immediately start talking. I've always been in such a closely knit community and now i'm here where life is more about survival. Yes i realize that it's only Utah and there are far bigger places but coming from a girl who spent her whole life in Idaho between two tiny 90% LDS towns to a place where you are just another face in the crowd, it's been a change. But yes, there is still no adventure i am not willing to take on and so this will be a learning experience for me. It just might take some adjusting. The plus side is that i have a pool at my apartment :) and i poured my first whitening cast today at work. It was pretty sweet. I will come out of this triumphant.... Soon Utah and i will be great friends.... just give me a couple more days to adjust.
-Sincerely your one and only Whitney Breann

Happy New Year!

What a celebration it is today! Thank you for choosing to be a part of this glorious holiday. Oh but you don’t need to restrain from shouting or even frolicking about your computer room. There is no need for holding back today because today I personally give you permission. You are free to turn on the radio and play the Journey CD on replay or even the Cars theme song because today is a day to celebrate. Today is a holiday. But it’s sort of a funny one at that. Like most holiday’s it only comes once a year but this holiday actually only happens once. Ever. This is thee only day of your entire life that you will be able to document this particular celebration. In fact walk away from the computer right now and fetch your journal. If you are anyone but my sisters of mom you probably only write in it on New Years anyway. In fact you might as well even title the page as a new year because it is in a sense a new year to many of us. Document August 5, 2010 as the day that Elder Jensen has been out a year on his mission! Let us have a moment of silent happiness…..

Today I and many others have reached the top of the steep mountain. I am standing high at the top and I’m ready for the speedy descent. I’m ready to start counted backwards towards 1. I’m ready to start getting nervous and planning my outfit for our first reuniting. What should I say to him or how should I do my hair? Oh but I’m ready. I’m half way there and I’m feeling strong. The first half was tough but I learned so much. I’m ready to write it the next chapter. What else can we learn? What ever it might be I'll take it. After all running down hill is a lot smoother then climbing up. One more year Elder Jensen. I could not be more proud of you.