Sunday, April 26, 2009
The morning Sara called I was feeling drained. I was not entirely in the mood to go out on a date with this “person” she spoke of. It was my first blind date, and I wasn’t exactly thrilled about the idea. When the doorbell rang, I walked to the door slipping a book into my gold purse… in case of an emergency. “It is one in the afternoon. This date could easily be a disaster,” I thought as I greeted Sara and walked out the door. I hardly said a word as Sara went on about every detail of my date. I could tell she was trying her hardest to convince me that it would be alright. It wasn’t working. As we pulled up to the house, I stepped into the rain with a dreadfully anxious feeling in the pit of my stomach. From what Sara had explained, he was just another jock that thought his greatest accomplishment in life was enrolling in a high school football team. He probably would not pay any attention to me once he realized I didn’t have blonde hair. This would be a “pity date” on both of our parts.
As I walked through the door, I gently straightened my posture and slipped off my hood. I glanced up at my surroundings, and then my eyes skimmed the top of the stairs.
I saw him. The most charming, handsome boy I had ever laid eyes on. He wore a cool white polo that hugged every muscle in his perfect chest. He had the body you would only see on the cover of a sports magazine. His dark perfect hair came to a point slightly offset on the top of his head, but his face was what had caught my attention. He had almost boy like features that made him look so daring but vulnerable. He had full, perfect, bee-stung lips. His eyes were big and brown and faintly turned down at the ends like a small puppy. They had captured all of my attention.
As I stumbled back into reality, I realized I had been staring. He had nearly reached the bottom of the staircase. Quickly, but disappointedly, I looked away. Sara was sweetly mumbling out our introductions while I concentrated on my breathing. His name was Sam. Suddenly Sam looked deep into my eyes and softly said, “Hey.” I quickly and simply responded, “Hey.” A feeling of regret suddenly struck me. Why hadn’t I chosen words that were cooler or more honest? Anything other than the response I chose. As he invited me to sit at the table to play a game of monopoly, I realized I might actually enjoy the rest of this date.
Monopoly was never my favorite game because it was one that required a lot of conversation. However, the conversation here was not exactly flowing easily. Sara and her date would occasionally ask questions like, “So, do you know Sam likes to play football?” I was too nervous to be honest in my responses. Sam would just shrug and look at the table. It wasn’t that he was trying to offend me; he was just reserved. I felt uncomfortable. I couldn’t believe how amazed I was by meeting him. Never had I been so immediately interested in a person before. I couldn’t believe I was acting so defenseless right now. Usually I was strong willed and confident. He probably saw me as just another one of the girls that was attracted to him. What could I be to him but a stone in his path?
As we climbed into the truck, suddenly I was nervous again. Sam obviously didn’t have much interest, and I hadn’t planned to have interest in him either but somehow I did. I was so mad at myself for being so heart-stricken until I looked at him again. Every time I glanced over, I was being pulled in all over again. He was so different from any of the guys I’d met before. He was casual but seemed to have this whole story I couldn’t quite see. He was like a book on the top shelf, and I was far too short to reach it. Suddenly his leg touched mine. Butterflies seemed to instantly flood through my stomach like a storm. My posture stiffened, but I tried my hardest to act like I wasn’t affected at all. I turned my head the other way pretending that the scenery had stolen my attention. I kept my leg right where it was. Why was I suddenly so vulnerable? I had come here stubborn and in control. Never had I acted this way around any boy. I hardly knew him; however, he had damaged all of my defenses.
We pulled up to the place where we would need to unload the four-wheelers. As I got out Sara shouted “Oh, don’t forget to wear your helmet!” A sudden stab of embarrassment and shame dropped in the pit of my stomach. Since I was the youngest one in the group, I would be the only one who would have to wear a helmet. “Great, he really won’t be interested now. Seeing me with my cheeks smashed together would hardly be attractive.” I slipped the helmet on. Sara chuckled a little; I glared, so she stopped. Subsequently, I turned my head just to hear another smothered chuckle, but one far more irritating. Sam was laughing at me! I wanted to crawl into a hole and hide. Seeing my embarrassment he walked up to me with a smile and sweetly said “Are you ready?” I turned up one corner of my mouth. Then the thought came to mind that I would need some support riding on the back of the four-wheeler. Would it be far too forward to just grab onto a man’s chest? I couldn’t possibly just wrap my arms around him. He would think I was just a flirt. We mounted the four-wheeler together. As I sat there with my arms awkwardly to the side, I heard a slight chuckle and then he said “Hold on,” as he pressed hard on the gas. My reflex was to grab on tight, and I did. As my arms met the stone curves of his abdomen, I didn’t regret my decision. I could tell he was smiling which surprised me. I held on tightly as we rode off into the sunset.
The ride came to an unfortunate finish. Sam jumped off and walked toward the truck without saying a word. At that moment, I realized I was being silly. This was not what I was making it out to be. Yes, I was on a date with a gorgeous man, but he just couldn’t be mine. Did I really want him though? Why was I being so self-conscious around a boy that I hardly knew? I would admit that I could just sit and analyze him for weeks if given the chance. He was so fascinating to me. I just couldn’t be so silly to get my hopes up for something so far from reach.
We drove back to the house with little conversation in the car. Sara turned to me with sympathy and loudly asked Sam if he would be able to give me a ride home. I lived an hour away so this was not a small favor. He agreed and smiled sweetly my way and then went to get his keys. Putting the whole night in perspective, I was confused and frustrated. I really did like Sam; well, I thought I did. He just was not interested at all in getting to know me. I got into his small tan ninety-four Saturn, which allowed me to feel much less intimated. We started off towards the highway and the mood suddenly became a lot more relaxed. It was like a huge barrier had been lifted. He started to ask me questions and showed a genuine interest in me. He asked me about my small town and how long I have lived there. I had been there all of my life. He asked what my school was like. I kind of explained that I had only a few friends in my tiny town and rarely dated. I said that this had been my first time ever dating someone outside of my town. He smiled big and said, “How did you like it?” Immediately I blushed and responded “Yeah, I really did.” It was silent for a minute, then he said “So, I really am the first guy you’ve dated outside of your town?” He proudly smiled at me. Suddenly he said, “ Your different than other girls, but I just can’t figure out why. I’ve never met a girl as sweet as you. You just have more depth than most girls.” I couldn’t grasp a response. I was in awe. He had not given any indication of interest until this moment. I sat there dumbfounded, as butterflies flooded my entire body, but I simply said, “Really?” He chuckled then. “Yeah, really. You are very interesting and very unpredictable. I really hope this won’t be the last time I get to see you.” I couldn’t help but smile a very big and girlish smile. “It won’t be,” I said.
As we pulled up to my house he walked me to my door. He leaned in and wrapped me into a warm hug that lasted at least eight seconds. Smiling, he walked back to his car. As I closed the door behind me, I just sat there completely enthralled in the situation. Is this really happening? He saw something in me. How I felt just then, how genuinely happy I was just then, surprised me. Suddenly life was more than a single road. It was an endless highway with infinite exits and possibilities. There was a perfect guy out there, so unlike me, and I was excited. I wanted to learn from him and reach out. There were going to be so many people so unlike me that it would fascinate all of my interests. I would willingly take a stranger in my path and discover more. My comfort zone was suddenly much larger. I wanted to learn more. Suddenly, I was thrilled for the blind dates to come.