my latest letter to Cam...

Hi!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm not very tired but i've been laying in bed here for years. So. What should we talk about tonight my dear? Should we talk about the whether? Like adults would do? because i am turning 20 in a couple days. I suppose now that i'm officially an adult i have to seem a bit more intelligent and experienced like I'm accomplishing something in my life. I better pull on some nylons and pin my hair into a tight bun and somehow get a subscription for the newspaper. I need to be up to date on the governments scandals and the stock market now that i'm an adult ya know. I also need to start collecting coupons from the internet and magazines and the newspaper of course. Oh and i think my compliments are gonna have to be much more sincere. I have to start to acquire that nice motherly type of personality if i'm ever gonna get into the knitting circles or book clubs in the neighborhood. Yep I'm almost an adult now Mister Jensen. I guess that also means that our conversations will have to be a lot more mature. We shall talk about recipes we've tried and about possible landscaping plans. Okay? We are now both adults. No more careless teenagers. I am almost 20. Twenty years old.
Oh my gosh Cameron i'm so sad!!! I can't be 20! My personality only covers the teen years. My humor, my carelessness, my irresponsible nature... that is all for a teenager. I can't even fathom how to be 20. I'll be horrible at it. I can't tell anyone i'm 20. They will no longer give me the excuse of being a teeneger. Like when i meet people and then they always ask, "How old are you?" and i say. "19" they always smile the smile that means, "Oh that explains it" Cause it does. It perfectly explains why i am so imperfect and awkward and weird. Cause i'm a teenager. If i say 20 then they will have the face of either expectation or disappointment. I know it's kind of early to lie about my age but i was thinking maybe i should just take it slow. Like maybe i'll just say i'm 19 for a while until i'm really ready to be 20. Maybe in like May I'll be ready to 20. Okay? Okay. So let's just pretend i'm having a birthday and we'll be happy and you can be really cute to me and send me a tape or something but don't say anything about being 20. Then in May if you have any remarks that regard being 20 you will be allowed to state them at that time. K? Okay good talk. No but really I got the best deal on laundry soap yesterday. You would've loved it.
Goodnight.