Hello my sweet followers (all 14 of you)
It has been some time since i have been on. So what shall we discuss here tonight?
Should it be a bit comical or very solemn?
I say a bit of both.
Let’s talk about the economy. Hahaha jk. That was the comical part.
I almost have a blank mind at what to write about because I feel like my life has been so routine lately. Everything, besides a few odd encounters, has been pretty standard. But I shall keep on writing even so.
On Sunday my brother-in-law blessed my sister’s baby in church. So naturally my entire family came up to Utah!! After church we all retired to the house to eat, eat, eat! There is nothing that can really compare to enjoying a meal with the company of your whole family and all the kidlets running around. (Holy cow, it feels like there are three times more when they are together) Anyways it was so much fun to simply be with everyone. I just love my family! Family is the most splendid blessing I think we are given. I can only praise my dear parents for doing such an outstanding job at raising them. I could’t ask for a better life! I was also accompanied by a dear friend who traveled all the way from Provo ☺ The entire day was a success.
If I had a billion dollars I would probably buy a beautiful mansion in the Caribbean and kidnap my entire family and make everyone live there! It’ll be great. Who’s in?

yo ho maties yo ho

... yes i have returned from the radiant blue seas of the Caribbean. For those of you that noticed i was gone. I can't begin to describe how much i love to travel to new places. The Caribbean was fascinating. It did open my eyes a bit to new thoughts and ideas. I couldn't believe how poor some of those people lived. Especially in Belize. It was rough there. They lived off tourists and they let us know. They weren't shy about their situation at all. There was one lady named Chantelle who talked to me for a while. She told me that if she could tell me one thing it would be to be grateful for my parents. She said they do so much for me. I noticed she was walking around the streets trying to sell some wooden carvings she made. She told me she had two children that were in school and she didn't have a husband. So she tried to make as much money as she could while they were in school so she could feed them. It made me feel so guilty like i was taking this whole life i've been given for granted. Here i am in a nice place where i have means to feed myself and live comfortably. While there were thousands of people living in small wooden shacks with dirt floors. Living of 4 dollars a day. I'm so selfish. I really want to make a lot of money one day so i can go back and help some of those people. I know that sounds a bit silly but i'm so serious. Those people were so sweet and humble.
Alo while i was there i drove a moped around an entire island, i swam with hundreds of string rays and even kissed one, i took a jungle safari one a small river boat and then took a land rover through the same jungle and saw leaves the size of the vehicle i was riding in, and i meet this really charming Australian guy on a plane. i would definitely use the word fantastic or wonderful to describe the vacation. Such an adventure...

my latest letter to Cam...

Hi!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm not very tired but i've been laying in bed here for years. So. What should we talk about tonight my dear? Should we talk about the whether? Like adults would do? because i am turning 20 in a couple days. I suppose now that i'm officially an adult i have to seem a bit more intelligent and experienced like I'm accomplishing something in my life. I better pull on some nylons and pin my hair into a tight bun and somehow get a subscription for the newspaper. I need to be up to date on the governments scandals and the stock market now that i'm an adult ya know. I also need to start collecting coupons from the internet and magazines and the newspaper of course. Oh and i think my compliments are gonna have to be much more sincere. I have to start to acquire that nice motherly type of personality if i'm ever gonna get into the knitting circles or book clubs in the neighborhood. Yep I'm almost an adult now Mister Jensen. I guess that also means that our conversations will have to be a lot more mature. We shall talk about recipes we've tried and about possible landscaping plans. Okay? We are now both adults. No more careless teenagers. I am almost 20. Twenty years old.
Oh my gosh Cameron i'm so sad!!! I can't be 20! My personality only covers the teen years. My humor, my carelessness, my irresponsible nature... that is all for a teenager. I can't even fathom how to be 20. I'll be horrible at it. I can't tell anyone i'm 20. They will no longer give me the excuse of being a teeneger. Like when i meet people and then they always ask, "How old are you?" and i say. "19" they always smile the smile that means, "Oh that explains it" Cause it does. It perfectly explains why i am so imperfect and awkward and weird. Cause i'm a teenager. If i say 20 then they will have the face of either expectation or disappointment. I know it's kind of early to lie about my age but i was thinking maybe i should just take it slow. Like maybe i'll just say i'm 19 for a while until i'm really ready to be 20. Maybe in like May I'll be ready to 20. Okay? Okay. So let's just pretend i'm having a birthday and we'll be happy and you can be really cute to me and send me a tape or something but don't say anything about being 20. Then in May if you have any remarks that regard being 20 you will be allowed to state them at that time. K? Okay good talk. No but really I got the best deal on laundry soap yesterday. You would've loved it.
Goodnight.

Humbling Times.

These last couple of weeks have been a shift for me. For those who have forgotten, when you’re 19 you expect a lot out of life. You anticipate life happening all your way. You get to collage and expect to find good grades, great friends, an exciting new freedom, and then a perfect job. But how is it that we cannot expect. Throughout high school we were taught what to expect. All the graduation speeches were on how sparkly the world is and how many opportunities there are waiting for us. So we expected those opportunities. What they didn’t tell us to expect was that those opportunities weren’t in plain site. They were hidden. Hidden far behind all the failing and then growing up. Oh and lets just talk a little about the ‘growing up’. I was not warned at all on what that entailed when I signed up for it. Growing up used to sound so fun to me. Like a step by step process of getting happier and happier. I had no idea that every happy moment I got, would have to be earned by a few sad ones. You see what I’ve learned over the last few months is that sometimes life isn’t cut out for you. Sometimes you simply have to fall into a place that doesn’t seem to have any place for you at all. But it is in those times that you learn that life isn’t about you anymore. The reason that life feels so off to you is because you’re living in someone else’s. You’re living for some one else for a time. Although I understand that I still have so much I can learn for myself I’ve recently decided that sometimes it’s not so much about how I am progressing in my life but how those around me are progressing. What exactly can I teach someone or even how can I merely influence their emotions? I’ve only just decided that as much I pretend I can meet the expected criteria the world has for me, that I can’t. Not only can’t but that I won’t. I’ve never been one who lives by expectations. That is what I’ve learned this week. That I do not have to live by any expectations. Live each day by the knowledge you already have and then be open to any changes. The Lord has my plan ready for me so what’s the point in trying to write my own? Honestly? It just makes things so stressful. From now on each day is new and inspired. There are no predictions unless they are absolutely positive. I hope you don’t think this is an irresponsible way to think. But right now it’s my way of thinking. The lesson is to be humble.

It's been real Idaho...

This Summer/ Fall i have decided to claim my independence and move out of Idaho. So peace out Idaho. The true is I actually just stepped into the next state down.... Utah! So just a quick over lay of my emotions and feeling at this dramatic change in my life. I arrived here last week thinking "Yay! It's gonna be so much fun. Look at how many more friends i have to choose from. So many more places to eat. More places to hang out" but then after driving in the traffic for a couple hours it slowly became a little more dreary. About the whole "Utah Driver" thing. I always just thought it was a stereotype. Kind of like the "Madison Poof" or the "Arrogant Californians" but nope. Truth is a lot of stereotypes are dang close to the truth. Driving in Utah is like taking the drivers ed test all over again. Everyone is staring at each other, skimming the driving manual in their heads thinking, "soooo... is that legal? Or..." It's getting bad.
Another thing that was definitely different for me was not knowing anyone. Everyone is in their own world and on such different pages. I know that sounds normal to you and your probably thinking she should have expected that and your probably right but living in rexburg is unlike any other place. Every person you meet has so much in common with you. you could walk up to a perfect stranger and immediately start talking. I've always been in such a closely knit community and now i'm here where life is more about survival. Yes i realize that it's only Utah and there are far bigger places but coming from a girl who spent her whole life in Idaho between two tiny 90% LDS towns to a place where you are just another face in the crowd, it's been a change. But yes, there is still no adventure i am not willing to take on and so this will be a learning experience for me. It just might take some adjusting. The plus side is that i have a pool at my apartment :) and i poured my first whitening cast today at work. It was pretty sweet. I will come out of this triumphant.... Soon Utah and i will be great friends.... just give me a couple more days to adjust.
-Sincerely your one and only Whitney Breann

Happy New Year!

What a celebration it is today! Thank you for choosing to be a part of this glorious holiday. Oh but you don’t need to restrain from shouting or even frolicking about your computer room. There is no need for holding back today because today I personally give you permission. You are free to turn on the radio and play the Journey CD on replay or even the Cars theme song because today is a day to celebrate. Today is a holiday. But it’s sort of a funny one at that. Like most holiday’s it only comes once a year but this holiday actually only happens once. Ever. This is thee only day of your entire life that you will be able to document this particular celebration. In fact walk away from the computer right now and fetch your journal. If you are anyone but my sisters of mom you probably only write in it on New Years anyway. In fact you might as well even title the page as a new year because it is in a sense a new year to many of us. Document August 5, 2010 as the day that Elder Jensen has been out a year on his mission! Let us have a moment of silent happiness…..

Today I and many others have reached the top of the steep mountain. I am standing high at the top and I’m ready for the speedy descent. I’m ready to start counted backwards towards 1. I’m ready to start getting nervous and planning my outfit for our first reuniting. What should I say to him or how should I do my hair? Oh but I’m ready. I’m half way there and I’m feeling strong. The first half was tough but I learned so much. I’m ready to write it the next chapter. What else can we learn? What ever it might be I'll take it. After all running down hill is a lot smoother then climbing up. One more year Elder Jensen. I could not be more proud of you.

Oh Dear Me,

What a week you've had Miss Whitney Brown. Unfortunately it's only half way over. Besides the fact that your classes are crazy and the time is rolling slowly,.... you are doing very well. You've made some great friends here in this chapter that have taught you wonderful things. You've learned some very interesting information during your study's. You've smiled a thousand times.
Aside from all that has already happened during your third semester here you are still sailing your own ship. What a beautiful adventure it is though. The wind will blow you to inspiring and beautiful shores no doubt. The nights may getting cold and the days could be brutal but then there will be the beautiful mornings with a perfect breeze and slight mist. Why would i dwell on the slight drop in temperature when i could focus on the wide open ocean that welcomes me gratefully?
Oh but dear, there are so many things to learn on this journey. So many mistakes you will simply have to make. Your heart is full and ready and sometimes it's easy to become careless and irresponsible. But every mistake has a lesson and your heart can learn. Trust yourself. Don't let silly critics tell you that you are not worth much. You are honored to have an adventure as great as this. Hope well.
Sincerly,
The Deeper Part of Your Mind

Dear Mister Plan for My Life,

Please understand that the point of this note is not to complain or make a fuss at all, i simply am writing to make you aware of some very important information. I have been running awfully low on this substance that is unfortunately very necessary to be successful at all in this world. Of coarse I am talking about money. My good sir, unfortunately it's not as simple to make a living by just walking into this country with 13 dollars in your pocket. Trust me I've tried. I was thinking of maybe trying to pawn off some silver spoons like I saw in this movie once but I'm just not sure if my roommate's spoons are real silver or not. So then i thought maybe i would want to go play some music on the side of the street. But then i realized I'm in Rexburg and i don't know how to play the guitar. What am i to do Mister? A job is simply out of the question. I could always make an appearance at the plasma center but every time i attempt, i think back to the 7th grade when my science teacher wanted to test our blood. She pricked my finger and no blood came... so she tried again and... no blood came. I was already very nervous for the first one but by the third time i simply couldn't take it. I passed out on the floor and for the next year i was the most popular person in school. Not for the reason i would've dreamed when i was a little girl.
I am very simply at a loss. Don't you think it would be very pleasant for me to just run into some luck? Some suggestions could be; an undiscovered oil plant, the lottery, or i could be discovered by some big name dance company. I'm not really sure but i am open to any suggestion you might have involving money.
I hope you don't just think I am completely miserable because I am actually very happy but after declaring my independence and moving out of my house, I discovered that money is the only way to get anywhere anymore. It’s quite sad. If you could help me at all I would appreciate it significantly.
Here’s hoping!

Whitney says, "Hi"

Good Morning friends and family. Saturday morning is the best but its usually way hard for me to be productive because there is usually nothing planned :) love that! I love no plans. Mr. Cameron sent me some cute pictures and a tape of him talking to me today. What a sweet guy. He made a 2 hour long tape for me. It does seem funny that i haven't seen him for 10 months yet he still makes me so happy. I still get all giddy and giggly when i read his letters. Haha its kinda nerdy huh. He's still the most exciting thing in my world.
Collage is hard. Did you know that? This semester is so much work. I can't think of a time... before i was working on homework all day every day. It's paying off for sure but i can't help but to think its a bit crazy. Only like 2 months left of this semester and then i can have a nice break.




Big Juds? Um well the truth is i didn't remember the feeling you have while waddling out like you just ate a full cow, when i agreed to go again. It's all about the experience though right? That's what we had to keep telling each other. We simply must do this. How else will we tell everyone we know that we ate a pound burger?



Do you remember these picture booths? It's very hard to get all three people in there but its so worth it. Wouldn't you agree.

Funny how life works out somtimes....

It's very true that i have not been on my blog for sometime and i thought it was time for a little update for those who are interested. Here i am in my third semester of school and BYU-I and this one is by far the hardest. Although my Biology and Chemistry classes are consuming much of my time (what i thought was Free Time) I still can't help but feel so blessed. This is another one the many adventures of Whitney Brown. I've learned so much more about 'Learning'. I'm completely learning about actually applying my self to my studying and it's very fascinating. I'm sure you've had those days when you've decided that you have reached your maximum capacity of knowledge and its time to just use what you've already got and go. I think I assumed that i was past the point of learning more. Somehow i just thought I would just get by with memorizing the information, testing on it, forgetting it and then continuing on. But my eyes have been opened my friends. :) I really am fascinated in how much more there is to learn. God's creations are incredible and that is undeniable. So anyway! I'm kind of in this faze right now where I'm completely content with spending my days in the library and doing homework. It's not that I'm really enjoying my time spent in the small wooden cubicles, but i am content there. I have the most amazing people around me teaching me more and more everyday. My dear roommate is such a sweetheart. I honestly hope that each and everyone of you will come into her path at some point in your lives because she's adorable! She wrote me the cutest letter the other day that completely made me day! She's so sincere and just genuinely thoughtful to the people around her. She just listens to all my thousands of stories about me and Cam and she never gets annoying, she just listens and asks questions. She wrote him a letter about how she is just so excited to meet him someday and that she really feels like she knows him already :) Oh speaking of Mister Cameron. I got to talk to him a week ago for Mother's Day!!! How am I the luckiest girl in the whole world? Really. I have the most amazing guy! It's actually really hard for me to find the right words to describe how i feel. And those of you who know me, know that doesn't happen very often but i think it's just part of being in love i guess. I will just say, he's completely perfect. I've grown so much from just being a part of his mission. I've grown to love the people he's teaching as well, even though i can't be there. I honestly hope I'll get to meet all of them someday. He's such an amazing missionary. If you wanna know about that come ask me about it and I'd love to tell you more, there's so many amazing stories to tell. It does seem odd that I've already experienced real and undeniable love and here i am 19 years old. Sometimes, you just have to laugh at the way life works out i suppose. But other then the fact that i'm surrounded with people who i adore, I am loving my life. I love experiencing the fulfillment of independence :) Somehow I have a greater grasp the endless possibilities the world has for me. Like I can get anywhere if i can just work for it. It's kind of fun isn't it? I don't know what will happen tomorrow or this next year but I can't help but be excited for whatever is in my plan. This life is beautiful if we surround ourselves with beautiful things. The world is beautiful on the Lord's side.... isn't it. :)

Converting Myself

Whitney Brown




She is looking through a store window. She sees a small globe of the world sitting in the center of a beautiful display. A bright light is shining perfectly on the globe and it’s spinning on an iron stand. She can tell it’s been worn down and touched many times but somehow it just seemed to add to its beauty. Suddenly the door to the small shop is opened and an attendant motions her to come inside. As she walks into the store she notices a sign above the door that reads “Life.” As she enters the door she is walking up some wooden steps onto a stage in a high school auditorium. It was her high school graduation and a large voice was calling her name. A man stands and beckons for her to walk toward him. She walks toward him slowly, not because she is nervous, but because she is proud. She wanted to be here. Once she reaches the man he looks directly into her eyes. He hands her that big beautiful world she was admiring in the window. It is hers now.
Chelsie stumbles back into reality from a thrilling dream. To Chelsie Brown, the world was suddenly full of opportunity. She had just began college at BYU- Idaho and her excitement was overflowing. She could do anything she wanted to now. Her first semester was everything she had expected. She was out of her parent’s house and ready to be on her own. She didn’t need them now. She could be anything she wanted, with no restrictions. Her world was careless. It wasn’t until the end of the semester that she began to grasp that life wasn’t as easy as she made it out to be.
The earth had unexpectedly jerked on it’s axis and Chelsie was using a whole new viewpoint. Chelsie went to the doctor one morning because she wasn’t feeling well. What seemed like a simple checkup became something more. They had to put her through a complicated surgery and then the doctor diagnosed her with lung cancer.
Her life suddenly paused and she didn’t know what to say or how to feel. She was scared and angry. She couldn’t help but to question God every day, “Why me?” It was hard to grasp the reality of situation. She was so frustrated with her new life of cancer. The world was suddenly new but not in the way she had expected it to be. She was thrown into the wrong playing field and was unfamiliar with the game. Why was this happening now?
She was young and beautiful. Chelsie stood 5’7’’ and had dark brown hair that lay softly near her lower back. She spent hours getting ready for each day. She loved taking pictures of herself and her friends. She knew she was attractive and honestly that was where a lot of her self esteem dwelled. Now here she was, a cancer victim. How would she tell her friends? She knew she would lose most of them because it would be difficult to be the fun, carefree girl they all loved hanging out with.
November 2006, Chelsie lies in the hospital bed, completely exhausted. Her friends, hair, and carefree life were gone now. After becoming accustomed to long lonely nights in the hospital, she realized she couldn’t make it much longer on her own. The large wall she built to protect her emotions had fallen and she was now vulnerable to any type of comfort. She loved when her family came to see her and she didn’t hide it at all. She was transforming completely and all of her family could see it. Her ability to love was strong now. It became her best feature.
Her mother said “After she started treatments she was scared at night. She slept in our bed a lot. Some nights she would just want to be close to me and hold my hand. She wanted me to comfort her. I remember a few nights she just wanted to hold my hand. She wouldn't cry or anything she just wanted to be by me.” Although Chelsie was scared, she would not be conquered so easily.
She knew she was weak now but she wanted to understand more about her trial. She wanted to fight and show everyone she was strong. She would try her best to be optimistic. She would show God that she could handle this trial. She would prove to everyone that she was strong. She would make the best of this.
Each day was miserable to say the least. She could hardly remember what it was like to not be in pain. Her body was clearly getting very weak. Her appearance was the last of her troubles. Chelsie said “I am not too crazy about my looks but I really like who I am on the inside. It’s funny how life is like that sometimes.” Although she lost some physical things that made her once feel beautiful she was very beautiful. Everyone around her saw it now. She was a beautiful person.
She found joy in leaning on her family. She grew to admire each one of them. She called all seven of her siblings at least once a week just to talk. To talk to them about their lives and tell them what was happening at the hospital. As her love grew, so did theirs. Not only did her relationship with her family change but her relationship with God grew as well. She came to know of a great and beautiful plan God had for her. During those hard nights fighting for her life Chelsie talked with God. She suddenly wasn’t angry about the challenges she was facing. She was proud to have such a great responsibility.
“Sometimes, once in a while… I can see a glimpse of what God sees in me and it’s so weird but I feel grateful for the opportunity to have a trial as difficult as this. I wish I could feel like that often. I used to always kind of be bugged by the Alma the younger story. Like when I am acting bad. God doesn’t send down an angel to tell me to be good. But he’s doing that for me. There I was at college being selfish and ungrateful when my life was basically easy, but now I’m being shown a new perspective. God saved Alma’s spiritual life, and He also saved mine too. While all the boys my age are on missions, I’m on a mission too. But instead the person I am converting is myself.”
Chelsie wanted to do something great in her life. She wanted to learn who she was and who she could be. And she did. She was given a chance to learn and grow. An opportunity to gain a new perspective was shown to her.
Now, she walks away from that small shop. She holds onto the small globe in her porcelain hands. It was hers now and as she stared at it she realized a small change. Somehow it was different, just slightly. It was still beautiful and full of opportunity but it had just slightly altered. It was a little more worn then the last time she looked at it. But it still appeared completely perfect to her. She smiled because she knew she had earned it.

I love you Chelsie!

Crazy in College

When i was coming to college i was so worried about my roommates. I mean, everybody know sometimes girls can be crazy and hard to get along with. So i was very nervous. But somehow i was put with 5 amazing girls that i have learned to love so much. They are crazy, yes, but i am too sometimes so it works perfectly. :) I've also meet so many amazing people up here. Everyday is new and adventurous.